


Adam Parrish wanted him, and he wanted Adam Parrish

by creativefiend19



Series: Alter Ego (Another Self) [2]
Category: Call Down The Hawk - Fandom, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater, The Dreamer Trilogy - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Ronan Lynch, Call Down The Hawk Sampler, Call Down the Hawk, Call Down the Hawk Spoilers, Canon Compliant, College Student Adam Parrish, Established Relationship, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Ronan Lynch, Porn with Feelings, Reunion Sex, Top Adam Parrish, the dreamer trilogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-16 07:31:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21267353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativefiend19/pseuds/creativefiend19
Summary: The missing sex scene(s) in the CDTH sampler, between dorm room confessions and the aftermath of dreaming.





	1. I want it too much

**Author's Note:**

> I can't wait for CDTH. Can you tell?
> 
> Maggie says it's Ronan Lynch's birthday today, so happy birthday to one of my favourite characters ever.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan and Adam don't get much further than the door in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Porn and feels. It's Pynch, after all.

“I want it too much,” Adam said.

“It’ll work,” Ronan told him. “It’ll work.”

It _has to_ work. 

Ronan pulled Adam back towards him, hands clutching around his waist. Adam came willingly, eagerly, crashing against him, arms around Ronan’s shoulders like steel bands. For a moment, they held each other fiercely, chest against chest, hips against hips, knees against knees. Ronan continued to long for Adam even while holding him.

Ronan’s hands moved to cup Adam’s ass, squeezing, proprietary, possessive, promising. Adam’s hands clawed at his back, short fingernails trying to mark crescents into Ronan’s skin through his jacket. It was not enough.

“Why do we still have clothes on?” Adam murmured against the stubble of Ronan’s jaw, and then they were kissing. Messy and hungry, hard and rough, teeth and tongues, as if this was again the first time they were doing this, kissing with more desperation than finesse. Ronan needed to be under Adam’s clothes yesterday, inside his skin always. And Adam, for all his respectable cuffed brown slacks and vintage vest, was rolling his hips lewdly against Ronan’s thigh, slotting his leg against Ronan’s groin, gripping Ronan’s neck and shaved head, pushing their faces together. _More, more, more. Now, now, now. Adam, Adam, Adam_. The litany thrummed under Ronan’s skin, as he worshipped at the church that was Adam’s body.

Adam bit Ronan’s earlobe hard, trying to push Ronan's jacket off, but wanting to do it without Ronan’s hands leaving his ass. Tricky proposition, that. Impossible. So they compromised. Ronan moved his hands away from Adam, tearing his own jacket off, while Adam kept their hips rocking together, keeping Ronan pinned against the door, as his hands fumbled on Ronan’s belt buckle. Their mouths were no longer aiming at lips, happy to lick and suck and nip at any warm familiar skin they could reach, marks be damned. Ronan moved his hands to Adam’s vest, using more force than necessary trying to unbutton it. Adam put his hands on Ronan’s, “Let me. You’ll ruin it.”, as Ronan huffed out a breath. Adam was still Adam in some ways, unwilling to forget himself even in the heat of the moment, worried about his fucking _clothes_. Well, Ronan just needed to try harder then.

Ronan moved his hands to the back of his own t-shirt, pulling it up and over his head. Throwing it somewhere far, far away. Adam had finished taking the vest off, and he tossed it, albeit gently, on the bed that wasn’t his own. At least he didn’t fold it, thought Ronan. Progress.

They were both painfully hard now, grinding against each other. There was not enough skin against skin for Ronan’s taste. He pulled Adam’s shirt out of the waistband of his slacks, yanking roughly at the tails. Adam slapped his hands away with his own, continuing to work at the shirt buttons. Ronan’s hands moved to his own fly, unbuttoning, unzipping, pushing his jeans and boxer briefs down just enough that his cock was blessedly free but his balls were still trapped under the elastic. He needed the discomfort of it, otherwise it was going to be over before it even started.

Adam had taken his shirt off, throwing it a bit more carelessly on his roommate’s bed and had now moved to his own belt buckle. While Adam’s shaking fingers worked on his own fly, Ronan moved his hands over Adam’s naked chest and ribs and around to the small of his back, making the circuit again with his nails this time, the skin and muscles so familiar and yet so new after two months of only being able to do this in dreams and fantasies. Adam and he gasped into each other’s mouths as their naked cocks slid together (_finally, finally),_ the silken warmth making everything so much better and so much worse.

Ronan put his hands back on Adam’s firm, compact ass cheeks and pushed down until his boxers and slacks pooled on the floor and Adam stepped out of them, toeing away his shoes and pulling off his socks (Kicking everything away this time. Yes!). He pulled a finally _(finally!)_ naked Adam forward by his ass and licked into his mouth, pressing their cocks together again, feeling their bare chests and stomachs rise and fall against each other with their harsh breaths.

Adam’s hands cupped Ronan’s butt in reply, pushing jeans, belt and boxer briefs mid-thigh, trapping his hands between Ronan and the door. Ronan keened against Adam’s neck as he felt his ass cheeks being spread and one of Adam’s beautiful fingers sliding against the hot, damp cleft of his crack. He panted with relief and desperation, torn between pushing his hips back against Adam’s fingers and canting them forward into Adam’s cock. He settled for thrusting between the two. What a fucking amazing set of things to be trapped against, to have to choose between, Ronan thought a little wildly, sending up a grateful prayer for this moment in his life to the God who had answered his amorphous “Please.” all those years ago.

“I’m not going to last, Adam,” he warned hoarsely, as two of Adam’s fingertips now circled his tight entrance. He had debated whether to loosen himself up before coming here, wanting to cut short the time between seeing Adam clothed and feeling Adam’s cock sliding into him. But he had decided against it, because Adam’s fingers (oh my God, those fingers, those fucking amazing fingers), entering him, sliding inside him, were one of the most magical things to happen to Ronan ever. And a lot of magical things happened to a dreamer and a Lynch.

“Me neither.” Adam’s tongue withdrew from teasing Ronan's ear, shaping his breath around the words, tantalising Ronan's wet, hypersensitive skin. “It’s fine. I want this too much.” And then, the cocks that were leaking copiously against their bellies were suddenly surrounded by the dry, calloused warmth of Adam’s beautiful hands (oh my God, those hands, those fucking amazing hands), using their abundant combined precum to ease his grip.

As Adam slid his thumb over both their slits, Ronan tipped his head back to thud against the door and released a loud groan, the sound coming straight from the depths of his belly. From the hole near the pit of his stomach that was always empty and hurting when Adam was away. It was now slowly being soothed and filled by the pressed warmth of Adam against his body, his smell rising into the air between them. Their smell rising together, combined and real and _here_, the way it always should be, the only way that was right.

“Yes," grunted Ronan through gritted teeth, putting his hand around Adam’s and gripping both their cocks tighter. They could take their time later. They could last longer then. And now talking was no longer possible as they sped up in tandem. _Breathing_ was barely possible, unless it was hyperventilating pants against each other’s mouths.

Ronan’s left hand cupped the bottom of Adam’s ass at the juncture of his thighs, finger spasmodically pressing against his perineum, almost lifting Adam to slot him better against Ronan. Adam gasped at the new pleasure and pressure and rose onto his toes, so Ronan spread his legs as far as his trapped jeans would allow and lowered himself a bit, leveraging his back. Getting more space between his butt and the door, so he could give Adam’s wrist more room. Because now the tip of Adam’s middle finger was moving inside him upto the first knuckle, left palm pressed against the soft, muscled cheeks. Adam’s small movements alternated between rhythmically fucking inside Ronan’s tight warmth and circling gently inside his hole.

Just before Ronan clenched his ass as his orgasm began to threaten, he felt Adam’s finger slip inside him a little further. He wrenched his lips from Adam’s neck and slipped his tongue into Adam’s mouth. Needing to be inside Adam in some way, like Adam was inside him, turning them into a Mobius strip of desire and promises. Ronan fucked his tongue into Adam’s mouth as Adam was fucking his finger into him, in time to their cocks thrusting together and Ronan continuing to press on the skin behind Adam's balls.

And then they were both coming over each other’s hands and abs, Ronan groaning harshly against Adam’s mouth, as Adam’s hitched cries bordered on sobs, loud and wanton.

Regardless of how much Adam had trained himself to orgasm quietly over the years, hastily and silently jerking himself off in the trailer’s shitty bathroom and St. Agne’s cold one, Ronan had worked hard to cure him of the habit at the Barns (and in the BMW). Pushing Adam until he was keening and moaning and crying out and shouting in total, mindless abandon, encouraged by Ronan’s voice and mouth and hands and cock. Making sure Adam took all the space he needed and deserved, in life in general and in Ronan’s life in particular.

And now, despite how paranoid Adam had again become about being quiet during their rare tries at phone sex and Skype sex, always conscious of the thin walls and busy corridor outside his dorm room, he was unable to keep silent as he came and came and came against Ronan, near the door, uncaring or rather unable to care about who heard him, heard them.

Success, Ronan thought, hazily triumphant, before the world blanked out on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: They finally make it to the bed.
> 
> Please kudos and comment if you liked what you read. :)


	2. The bed was right there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pynch sex.
> 
> And this fic earns its rating.
> 
> Tags have been updated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This diverges from canon very slightly (blink-and-you'll-miss-it slightly) as Adam's roommate has fucked off somewhere and Ronan is informed about the fact. Because they need a safe space to have lots of sex, okay?

Ronan kissed Adam languidly, as they lay side by side on Adam’s narrow dorm bed. Legs slotted together, hands moving, caressing and re-learning each other’s naked bodies. Of all the versions of how he and Adam were when they were intimate together, this was Ronan’s favourite. The unhurried touches between orgasms. The time after satiation and before the renewal of arousal. During their ten months together at the Barns, he and Adam had perfected the art of spending hours in bed, hours loving each other to distraction, hours learning new ways to repeatedly push each other over the cliffs of pleasure, building sensations so intense they bordered on pain.

They probably didn’t have hours though.

“Where’s your roommate?” Ronan asked suddenly, against the corner of Adam’s lips. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten about the roommate. But then, he tended to forget most things when he had a chance to be naked with Adam.

“He’s away for the weekend,” Adam murmured, moving his mouth to kiss behind Ronan’s ear.

“Thank fuck,” breathed Ronan. “Let’s never leave this room.”

“That would be great,” replied Adam, amused, “except I still have a study group, papers to write and research and…”.

“Fuck that shit, Parrish,” growled Ronan, “I didn’t spend eight fucking hours in Declan’s boring car listening to Matthew’s shitty music, just to watch you study the whole time, as if we were back at St.Agnes.”

“I was going to say...'and we need to eat, too',” said Adam mildly. “And I don’t know if you get to call anyone else’s music shitty,” he continued, snarkily.

“Shut your mouth, Parrish.”

“Make me, Lynch.”

That was their cue.

God, they were so predictably juvenile.

Ronan loved it.

The kisses that had been soft and butterfly-gentle until now suddenly turned into a filthy, desperate dance of tongues. Ronan half-lifted Adam onto his body, tilting his head to deepen the kiss until he felt like he was living inside Adam’s mouth. Loving the slide of Adam’s bare, tanned skin against his own.

Adam held the back of Ronan's shaved head and pressed Ronan's lips hard with his mouth, fiercely giving back to Ronan in kind. And then he began to move down Ronan’s body.

Ronan’s heart beat faster, knowing what was to come and the anticipation thrummed under his skin. This was the race, first gear primed, engine roaring with the clutch on a hair-trigger, waiting for the lights to change. This was going to happen.

Adam licked a stripe from Ronan’s jaw to behind his ear and then over the marks of Ronan’s tattoo that were peeking over one shoulder. Ronan gasped and turned his neck. Adam took advantage of the access and ran his teeth along Ronan’s carotid artery and straight down Ronan’s pectoral, wriggling his tongue along the path. Adam licked around a nipple, his pink tongue pointed and firm, knowing it was driving Ronan insane. Ronan hissed. They had discovered that Ronan had extremely sensitive nipples.

By now Ronan was squirming under Adam, arching his back and trying to push his nipple into Adam’s mouth. Adam looked straight at Ronan with a slight smirk as he licked a hard, wet stripe along the nipple and then began to suckle on it, making obscene noises and keeping eye contact the whole time, reminding Ronan of other things he could to do to him with his tongue and mouth. Ronan was suddenly rock hard and flushing all the way down, as he felt turned up to eleven. And then Adam gave the other nipple the same attention.

Ronan watched as Adam moved down to his ribs and then stomach, kissing, biting, licking and sucking. They tried not to leave marks on the parts of skin that were visible, and since Ronan lived in tank tops, Adam had to avoid the soft, thin skin on the underside of Ronan’s biceps that was his particular favourite spot to leave bruises on. He would examine them over days, watching as the changing colours contrasted beautifully with Ronan’s pale skin. So he made up for it by leaving marks wherever else he could get away with them. The inside of Ronan’s thighs was another bruise magnet. And Adam was enroute to it now, with some detours along the way.

“You’ve lost some weight,” Adam murmured against one of Ronan’s hipbones, before licking along it.

“Yeah,” Ronan panted, his hand carding through Adam’s hair and pulling lightly, “the Barns takes a lot of work now, and running behind Opal is no joke.”

“Hmmm,” Adam hummed, as his soft, open mouth and tongue continued to work on Ronan’s skin. Ronan knew it wasn’t an opinion, and that Adam didn’t really care one way or the other; Adam was just filing away the information automatically. As Adam mouthed along the opposite hipbone, he deliberately ignored Ronan’s flushed, hard and leaking cock lying against his stomach. Ronan knew Adam was going to drag it out and tease him until he was out of his mind. Well. Speeding wasn’t always the best way to get somewhere. See, thought Ronan, I’ve grown. A year ago I would never have said that slow could be just as good as fast.

Then Adam was indeed sucking bruises onto the inside of Ronan’s thighs, his warm breath both tickling and arousing. And then he was kneeling between Ronan’s legs and lifting one up, to mouth wetly at the back of Ronan’s knee, another sensitive spot. Adam continued to keep Ronan’s knee up as he moved to lave his tongue at the back of the other one, until both knees were raised and spread, leaving Ronan lewdly open and vulnerable to Adam’s considering gaze. Here it comes, thought Ronan, lava pooling into his stomach in anticipation.

Adam looked him in the eye for a moment and then ran his mouth down the back of Ronan’s thigh until it got to his ass cheek, which he bit gently first, and then harder for good measure. He then pressed Ronan’s knees back towards his chest, and Ronan held them there himself. Adam moved his mouth to hover over Ronan’s asshole, a cool, purposeful stream of breath making Ronan clench and release unconsciously. Adam watched his hole spasm and then with the flat of his tongue, licked a long stripe from it all the way past Ronan’s balls and to the tip of his cock. The variety of sensations Ronan was feeling along the various parts of him that were licked, added to the warmth and wetness and pressure, made him groan long and loud.

“Shhh,” said Adam, warningly.

“Back to that again, huh?” Ronan sneered, spoiling it by sounding breathless and husky.

Adam leaned over and threw his second pillow at Ronan’s face, while scrabbling around near the bedside table.

“Bite down on it,” he said, sternly.

“And miss seeing this?” Ronan didn’t give a shit about Adam’s neighbours but he knew Adam did, and Ronan would not allow anyone to make Adam uncomfortable or embarrassed or apologetic. Not even himself. “Alright, fine, I’ll try and be quiet.”

Adam glared at him.

“Alright, fine, I _will _be quiet. Can you just fucking get on with it before I get a Charley horse?”

Even in the middle of the most ridiculous of sexual poses, they were still arguing, glaring and rolling their eyes at each other. And Ronan knew they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Then Adam bent down, and spread Ronan’s ass cheeks wider with his hands and speared his tongue into Ronan’s hole as far as it could go. No mercy. And Ronan, because of his promise, gritted his teeth, clenched his jaw, arched his back and keened as silently as he could. As he bore down, it made it easier for Adam to go deeper, and the copious amounts of saliva he was producing was enough to make things a lot smoother.

As Adam laved at Ronan’s rim, Ronan stuffed his fist into his mouth and moaned. However, while Adam had been busy with his mouth, he had obviously been doing something else with his hands, because suddenly there was a smell like jam and then a cold wetness against Ronan’s cleft. Except, Adam’s tongue continued to shallowly fuck inside Ronan.

“What’re you doing?” Ronan almost slurred, reluctantly distracted.

Adam took his mouth away from Ronan for a moment and succinctly said, like the smartass he was, “Strawberry flavoured lube,” and dove back in.

Fuck you, thought Ronan, trying to form snarky sentences like “you’ve really done your research” or “so you do learn something in college” or “now you’re really eating me out” but his sex-addled brain was only able to offer him the vague sense memory of the smell of tarts and Fourth of July picnics. As the lube began to ease Adam’s slide into Ronan, his tongue moved in straight thrusts and swirled circles, opening him up. And then Ronan felt a finger press up against him, circling his rim stretched around Adam’s tongue and he thought, _finally. _Adam’s fingers. Praise the _fucking _Lord.

Adam now added more lube to a second finger and then pushed both in together, this time running his tongue around his fingers pressed inside Ronan, as Ronan clenched around them, mouth thrown back in a silent scream. _Praise Jesus and fucking Mary because Adam Parrish’s fingers are finally inside me. _

This never, ever got old, or any less thrilling. All those months where he had pined and longed hopelessly for Adam, thinking he was straight and convinced he wouldn't have been interested in Ronan even if he wasn’t, he would be both wishing and terrified that Adam might feel the weight of Ronan's hungry gaze tracing his wrist bones and thumbs and knuckles again and again. He would have _never, ever_ imagined that one day those very same knuckles would be buried _inside _him, fucking into him. Some days Ronan couldn’t believe this was his life.

Adam wiped his mouth before licking Ronan’s balls, wrapping his lips around them gently and softly sucking. Ronan hissed sibilantly.

His cock was still being ignored.

As Adam began to scissor inside Ronan and fuck him deeper, Ronan finally lowered his legs with relief, draping them over Adam’s shoulders. His hips started rolling sinuously on their own, Ronan grunting softly at every exhale, pushing Adam’s fingers deeper into him. And then Adam crooked his fingers _just so_ and pressed his tongue onto Ronan’s perineum and Ronan arched his back off the bed.

“Mfffhhhhhhnnnnn,” he said, almost biting his tongue, as Adam held him down with most of his weight on one hipbone. Adam just fucked him faster, fingers pushing again and again at his prostate and watching Ronan’s cock leak in response. And then a third finger joined the others, pumping in and out of him with hardly a pause.

“For fuck’s sake, Adam.”

“Yes, yes, okay,” Adam agreed shivering in anticipation, sitting up on his knees and reaching for a condom.

Ronan held out his hand for one as well. He knew Adam would not like it if his dorm bed was messed up too much, though they didn’t use condoms at all back home. Ronan had tried to dream up non-staining bed linen for their room at the Barns, but he couldn’t fix the fabric feeling like plastic.

“No,” said Adam, giving him a _look. _

_Shit, shit, shit. _If Ronan had been turned up to eleven before, he was now the centre of the fucking sun.

Adam folded up his crap dorm-issue pillow (Ronan had dreamt him a self-adjusting one when he left for college) and pushed it under Ronan’s hips. He paused for a minute, looking at Ronan, as Ronan looked back at him, the moment warm and pliant and endless, like pulled taffy. Ronan held out his palm to Adam; Adam took it and linked their fingers together. Ronan pulled him closer and they kissed. Soft and gentle and real.

Adam pressed his thumb against Ronan’s bottom lip, looked into his eyes and said, all soft-caramel Henrietta vowels, “I love you, Ronan.”

Ronan looked back, dragging his knuckles against a cheekbone and replied, in the voice that only Adam ever heard, “I love you too, Adam,” and kissed him again.

There was a time when it had seemed impossible that they would be able to say these words to each other, or that they would live long enough to hear them said in return.

Adam lubed himself up, put one of Ronan’s long, muscular legs over his shoulder and hooked the other one around his elbow, spreading Ronan wide open. They looked at each other as Adam lined himself up and began to push his hips forward, slowly but inexorably, until he seated himself all the way inside Ronan, ending with a low, dark moan. The sound that Ronan made was somewhere between relief and satisfaction. He felt like he had been waiting for this moment for the eight hours in the car, for the two months before that, since what seemed like the beginning of time. Waiting to be complete, to be finally home.

“Shit, Ronan. Fuck.” Adam breathed deeply, closing his eyes, trying to get control of himself. He leaned his forehead against Ronan’s thigh, as Ronan did his smoker’s breath and relaxed himself around Adam. “You are so fucking tight, damn you.” Still Ronan did not respond, consciously working on stopping himself from moving at all. Then Adam collected himself, stroked his palm up and down Ronan’s thigh, placed a kiss on his knee and began to fuck him.

Ronan was electric and charged, the thrill of Adam thrusting inside him sending sparks all over his body. From his scalp to the roof of his mouth to his cock to the soles of his feet. Almost just rocking against each other at first, then slow and shallow, then slow and deep, then harder and deeper. Adam’s leaned one hand on the bed for leverage as his thrusts increased in pace and ferocity, his cock hitting Ronan’s prostate over and over again as he folded him a little further into the mattress. Ronan began to go a bit mad with all the sensations he was feeling, with all the Adam-ness everywhere. Adam’s hands and cock and skin and breath and smell were all he knew. _Adam, Adam, Adam._

He tried to control himself, flexing his cock and trying to get away from the edge of orgasm. He needed to not come before Adam. But with Adam pounding into him in this deep, deep position, it was going to be impossible.

His cock was still being completely ignored, of course, by both of them.

“Adam, I’m …going…to come…if… you....” he gritted out, in time to Adam’s thrusts, clenching around him in warning.

“Okay, okay,” said Adam going back on his knees and pulling Ronan’s legs down so that Ronan could plant his feet on the bed, and then went back to thrusting more shallowly but frantically, with his hands on either side of Ronan’s chest. They were both gasping in tandem now, but Adam’s hips were beginning to stutter as he was losing control over himself. He finally came with a long, harsh, drawn out ‘Ronan’, knees trembling and almost collapsing onto his arms.

Ronan watched Adam’s beautiful face work through his orgasm, felt Adam throb inside him, and had to try very, very hard not to come too.

Finally, after a few deep breaths, Adam got back on his knees and slowly, carefully pulled out of Ronan, taking off his condom. And then he pulled Ronan’s hips towards him, _finally _put his hand on Ronan’s painfully hard cock, bent over and took Ronan into his mouth.

At the first sensation of the warm wetness of Adam’s mouth and tongue, Ronan actually did bite his tongue so that he wouldn’t shout. Adam gripped the base of Ronan’s cock with his beautiful, beautiful hand, and started to stroke him in time while bobbing his head. Adam’s throat opened up, he hummed around Ronan and moved his tongue in tantalising patterns on the underside of Ronan’s cock. Ronan gripped Adam’s hair and kept his head in place, not able to manage it as gently as he would have liked to. After being so close to orgasm for so long, it only took Ronan fucking into Adam’s hand and mouth a handful of times before he was arching his back as he came and came and came down Adam’s throat, feeling the incomparable sensation of Adam swallowing around him. He broke his promise to Adam, unable to help himself, and shouted out with his head thrown back, as the world whited out into mindlessness behind his eyelids. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it good for you too? ;) 
> 
> Kudos-ing and commenting will let me know.


	3. I missed you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sex (with Feels), before some well-earned rest.

Ronan and Adam were spooning on the narrow bed.

It turned out they'd had to leave the dorm room after all, despite Ronan’s best sulks, needing to clean up and grab some granola bars and Gatorade from the vending machines.

Adam was moving his mouth against Ronan’s tattoo now, not yet having filled his usual quota of worshipping it.

“Are you okay?” Adam murmured against an over-bloomed rose on Ronan’s left shoulder. “It’s been a while.”

“Too long,” Ronan replied, turning his head back so Adam could lean over and slowly kiss him. “I’m fine.” 

Adam pushed him gently so he was on his stomach and began to lick and kiss down Ronan's tattoo in increments.

By this time, Ronan thought, Adam knew his tattoo better than he knew it himself, and could probably draw it from memory almost exactly. He was fascinated by the design, asking Ronan about it repeatedly when they had first gotten together, in typical Adam fashion. Like he had had all these questions that he couldn’t bring himself to ask aloud until then: How did you decide on what to get? Did you draw it yourself? Did Cabeswater give you the idea? Why did you think to add ravens even before you dreamt Chainsaw up? Can I give you hickeys on it? That last one was, surprisingly to Ronan at that time (and not so surprising anymore), something Adam claimed to have fantasised about a great deal, even before he had figured out his feelings for Ronan.

Ronan had learnt to have a lot of patience when Adam started focusing on his tattoo.

Ronan thought that that was the main way in which being with Adam had changed him. He had definitely become more patient, which was simply unthinkable a year ago. Not only during extended sexual antics or by having to live away from Adam most of the year. Just loving Adam took patience. His constant tiredness, even at Harvard, made him snappy and prone to being unnecessarily sharp, and his elaborate and oversensitive code of honour made navigating things Ronan took for granted a veritable minefield. Ronan knew that Adam was getting better at allowing others to take care of him (or at least at allowing Ronan to take care of him), but it still took a lot of tightrope walking to juggle Adam’s pride with Ronan’s need to deal with things using minimal bullshit and maximum expedience (like just dreaming up or buying Adam whatever he needed).

But if Adam was difficult, Ronan was impossible. And he knew this well.

He exhaled gustily as Adam pushed his tongue into the dimples of Ronan’s lower back, just near where his tattoo ended.

Adam could take as much time as he needed on anything, as far as Ronan was concerned, especially if that thing was Ronan himself.

“You’re so beautiful,” Adam breathed out reverently, straddling Ronan’s thighs and running his hands up and down Ronan’s back.

It was amazing to Ronan that each of them thought the other more beautiful.

Since he met Adam, Ronan’s idea and ideal of beauty had become not just Adam’s face, but also tanned skin (not just anyone’s tanned skin, mind, only Adam’s), his dusty hair and his constellations of freckles. His deceptively broad shoulders, wiry, muscled forearms (stained with motor oil and grease), the poetry of sharp collar and wrist bones and, of course, everything about his hands. Ronan’s eyes constantly devoured Adam anytime he was in sight (they used to do that covertly anyway - before - but now Ronan didn’t give a shit who saw), despite how much he was teased by their friends. This was regardless of whether Adam was in his mechanic coveralls, or hanging out in casual jeans and threadbare t-shirts, or wandering unclothed around their bedroom, completely unconscious of what the spare, elegant lines of his long, lean body did to Ronan. The miracle of Adam’s naked form in his bed (or in his car) was a blessing that Ronan never took for granted. He did not think he had even truly considered anyone else desirable in his life.

Ronan had given him a relaxed blow job after they had returned to their room, taking his time re-mapping Adam's body. He liked the freshman fifteen that had added more layers to Adam’s form (any version of Adam was faultless in his eyes anyway), his muscles still taut but now filled out. Ronan made sure he told and showed Adam how he loved and noticed all of this, as he worked his way down his body. Adam was growing into himself in more ways than one, his legs and shoulders and torso now losing their slightly gawky teenaged proportions and becoming even more perfect, if that were possible.

However, Adam seemed just as enamoured of Ronan's physique. Not just of Ronan’s tattoo (which was kind of understandable, though Ronan had never meant it as anything more than a warning and an outpouring of grief) but with all the generously muscled contours of Ronan’s body, the harsh delineation of his jaw and lips, and especially his “round and perfect” ass, that Adam spent a lot of time tracing and kissing and biting. Adam loved the shifting lines of Ronan’s wide shoulders and back, the bare swathes of his pale skin, the feel of his freshly buzzed head, the shells of his ears, his neck and even his bare feet, for some reason. Well, good. There was no fucking way Ronan was complaining that his boyfriend found him attractive.

Adam moved away for a moment, keeping his legs twined around Ronan’s. And then he was back, returning to dragging his teeth against the black barbs that curled around Ronan’s neck. He pulled Ronan onto his side again and lifted his knee up slightly. He smoothed his hand down Ronan’s strong thigh to his ass, and then pressed his whole palm up against Ronan’s cleft. Ronan’s skin lit up in anticipation.

Then Adam’s fingers were gently stroking Ronan’s stretched, puffy rim, drawing a gasp from both of them. Adam bit down gently on a shoulder blade as his hand fumbled with something and then Adam was soothing over Ronan’s hot, raised skin with the blessedly cool slide of lube, this one not smelling of anything at all, thankfully. Ronan hissed in relief as Adam’s thumb circled carefully inside the slightly gaping hole.

“If we were at home, we wouldn’t have needed much lube for this round,” Adam’s voice said, low and dirty and wicked, as he began to rock his growing cock against Ronan in small movements.

Ronan shivered darkly all over and hardened helplessly, remembering the wetness Adam would leave inside him, easing the slide of Adam’s cock moving again in his used body.

Adam added more lube on his finger and continued deepening his gentle caresses.

“I’ll say yes to the first apartment I see tomorrow,” Ronan said, not kidding even a little.

“To the first apartment _we_ see.”

“I thought you had study groups and research shit,” said Ronan, unable to keep the slight petulance from his tone. 

“I told you. I want it too much. I want you too much. This is important.”

Adam’s breath tickled against the shell of his ear. Ronan stayed silent.

“What?” said Adam, pausing his fingers where they were and propping his chin on Ronan’s shoulder.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me here.”

“Ronan.”

Adam’s unguarded accent was one of the things Ronan cherished about their private moments together. It wasn’t just that he found it hot as fuck. The reason that it gave him a heady thrill was that controlled, disciplined Adam Parrish, obsessed with his image, _voluntarily_ let down all his walls around Ronan in private and especially in their bed. He was his completely naked and authentic self in more ways than one, and Ronan had the privilege of being the only one who was allowed to see it. “Don’t be stupid. I will always want you. Here. Anywhere.”

Ronan sighed and turned his neck, looking at Adam for a long, long moment. Ice-blue eyes looked into deep-blue ones, both saying many things to each other. Ronan’s eyes said he was worried about being away from the Barns for too long, about Adam having to introduce his high-school-drop-out tattooed boyfriend to his smart Harvard contacts, whether Adam would continue to live away from Virginia after he graduated. Adam’s eyes said what about Opal, what about the nightwash, will you be okay if I can’t give you much time when you move all this way for me.

“Yes,” said Ronan.

“I missed you,” said Adam

And they both knew it meant ‘I love you.’, ‘I’ll follow you anywhere.’, ‘I’ll want you by my side always.’, ‘We almost lost each other once.’, ‘You are worth it.’, ‘You are perfect.’

And just like that, they were back to wanting each other with desperation, as they kissed and kissed and kissed despite the uncomfortable angle. Adam’s re-lubed fingers were now circling harder into Ronan, going in deeper and beginning to stroke around Ronan’s prostate.

“Do you think you could come for me just like this?” Adam whispered.

“I want you inside me.” _Always. Always. _

“I don’t want to hurt you. You must be sore.”

“I’ll make sure to return the favour tomorrow. Just get on with it,” Ronan gritted out.

Adam pressed his weight on Ronan so he turned back fully onto the mattress. Ronan groaned as his now-hard cock was trapped between his stomach and the bed.

Adam stroked his prostate with two fingers as he uncurled his other hand from around a shuddering Ronan. Ronan heard the crinkle of foil and Adam threw a condom down to him. They manoeuvred themselves around each other without Adam’s hand leaving its task, tearing packets with their teeth, Ronan’s hips pulling up slightly, until both of them were in position. They had gotten very good at doing some things one-handed.

Adam was again spread out along Ronan’s length, kissing his neck as three of his fingers now pumped gently into Ronan.

Adam slid his fingers out of Ronan slowly, lubed himself up and stretched out along Ronan’s back. Ronan spread his legs further, making more room for Adam. Adam made a quick sound of dissent, pushing Ronan’s thighs back together and spread his own legs on either side of Ronan’s. He squeezed Ronan’s angled ass, and then carefully lined himself up with his entrance. Ronan felt Adam’s cock parting his soft cheeks as he was slowly breached, gravity making the slide undeniable. He could feel Adam’s thighs trembling against his own, as he tried to control the speed at which he was entering Ronan, in and out, in and out, a little more each time, to the accompaniment of Ronan’s continuous, muttered, sub-vocal swearing, _fuck, Adam, God, Jesus bloody Christ._

When Adam was finally deep inside Ronan, they both stopped for a moment, panting as if they’d already finished instead of just starting.

“Shit,” Adam said, and then slowly started rocking inside him. He didn’t ask if Ronan was okay, but added more lube to the place where his cock disappeared into Ronan (and spent a few moments admiring the sight, if Ronan knew him at all).

Ronan heard Adam wipe his hand against the bed and then Adam’s hands were running down from Ronan’s shoulders and straightening his arms and crossing his wrists near the headboard. Ronan pressed his temple against the sheet and tried to turn his head to look up at Adam. Adam pressed his hand onto Ronan’s neck, keeping him down, as he started slowly fucking him again.

There was no sound except for the wet slap of skin against skin. Then Adam rose up on his knees a little more and held onto Ronan’s hips. Ronan knew Adam was focusing on how his ass cheeks jiggled with each thrust and he clenched himself around Adam, perversely denying him the pleasure. In response, Adam’s hands moved to Ronan’s hands and pulled them back. Ronan’s face lifted off the mattress as Adam held onto Ronan’s elbows, causing his back to arch sharply and his chin to lift.

“Yeah,” breathed Adam with satisfaction, as he began to move faster into Ronan. All of Ronan’s weight was now divided between his chest and his knees, and Adam was making sure that he hit just the right spot each time. “You’re so good, Ronan, you’re so perfect, you’re so beautiful, I can’t believe you’re mine,” Adam chanted against Ronan’s ear the whole time.

Ronan was blissing out, wanting more even while Adam was moving inside him.

“Adam, _please_,” he breathed.

They both knew it took a lot for Ronan to beg.

“I got you. I got you,” Adam promised gasping, as his hands moved to Ronan’s cock. He wrapped one hand carefully over the length of Ronan’s condom covered dick and began to stroke in time to his thrusts, twisting his wrist as he got to the end of the stroke.

“Oh, shit, Adam,” Ronan moaned, overwhelmed between the force of Adam’s cock and the warm grip of Adam’s hands on him. “I’m gonna…”

He came in shuddering, wrenching gasps torn from the base of his spine, from the top of his head, clenching himself and his teeth as his orgasm ripped through him with the force of a storm. Adam managed a few more desperate thrusts and they both collapsed, with Adam’s breaths harsh against Ronan’s neck as they shivered and panted with the aftershocks.

After some minutes, maybe some hours or years, Ronan felt Adam’s warm weight roll off of him and Ronan managed the Herculean task of getting onto his back. He took care of the condom with hands that almost refused to move, and lay there while Adam wiped him down with a damp cloth. He swatted Adam’s hands away and instead pulled Adam down towards him. Adam had thrown on boxers and a t-shirt and helped to push Ronan into some as well.

"Why do we have to wear clothes?" grumbled Ronan, as Adam climbed over him and lay down between the wall and Ronan's chest. Ronan always ran hot and Adam always ran cold, so Ronan thought naked cuddling made excellent thermodynamic sense. 

"Fire alarm," replied Adam, condescending but matter-of-fact, a difficult combination for anyone but Adam to pull off. Which, fair enough; Ronan had been whining.

Ronan pulled him as close as possible with an arm around his waist, and breathed out against Adam’s neck with a long, low groan of satisfaction and exhaustion.

“I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too, Ronan.”

“It’s gonna work. It’s gonna be great,” said Ronan almost asleep, his heart full of hope and relief about soon being able to go to bed wrapped around Adam like this, night after night.

“Yeah,” slurred Adam.

Ronan couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then ... dunnn ... dunnn ... dunnn ...the cow-teethed crustaceans strike!!!
> 
> See you on the other side of CDTH.

**Author's Note:**

> I love hearing from readers! 
> 
> A word, a line, Anon, non-English - any type of comment or [Tumblr](https://creativefiend19.tumblr.com/) Ask is welcome. So is kudos!


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